MOST CAR REVIEWS blather on about all the wonderful new technology that’s fitted to the latest model, but talk to owners and you quickly learn that a lot of the so-called features are superfluous to their needs. Of course, whether they are wanted or not, or used or not, new car buyers have no choice but to pay for them.
1. STOP/START TECHNOLOGY
One of the most disliked of modern technologies is the stop/start system that turns the engine off when the car is stationary and quickly re-lights the wick when you want to move off. We are told it’s good for fuel economy and reduces emissions, but owners hate it and regularly turn it off. Unfortunately, a lot of new cars require you to turn it off every time you restart the engine, and that can become tiresome and annoying. seniordriveraus did our own tests on fuel economy and found the benefits are minimal in real world, everyday use. And to get these benefits means sitting in a car on a sweltering hot day with the air conditioner not functioning because the engine is off. When the engine starts up again, the air con has to work its butt off to cool the car back to where you want it. And although it’s getting better, there can be a hesitation before taking off after sitting stationary with stop/start having shut down your engine.
2. SMART KEYS
Isn’t it wonderful being able to open the doors without having to fumble in your pockets for the key? And when you get in the car, you just press a button to start the motor, without having to insert said key into a little slot. But then you have to find somewhere to stow it. Sit it in the cupholder and it rattles and slides around until it drives you mad. And because you press that same start button to shut down the engine, you’re just as likely to walk away with the key sitting in plain sight where any passing car thief can take advantage of your forgetfulness. There can be other problems, too. I once stepped out of a running car and my wife slid into the driving seat. Some considerable time and kilometers later, she realized that the key was still in my pocket, so she was unable to restart the car or lock it. Fortunately, I was able to drive to her rescue. Then comes the time when the little battery goes flat (they all do) and you’re stuck, frantically pressing a button that refuses to acknowledge your existence, or let you into the car. Another problem with smart keys: they aren’t waterproof, so don’t slip it into the pocket of your board shorts before you go for a dip. And the biggest complaint about smart keys comes when you lose one, or, heaven forbid, both. Lose one and you’ll be up for a hefty replacement cost – these are fiendishly complicated little devices and priced accordingly, somewhere between $250 and $800 depending on brand. Lose both keys and you’ll be in a world of pain because the whole car will need to be re-programmed for new keys. Prices we were able to discover range from $1800 to more than $5000.
3. TRIPLE BLINK INDICATORS
Now come on, what can be the problem with these? You want to change lanes, so you lightly tap the indicator wand and it politely tells the traffic behind you, with three flashes of the indicators. Sure, it takes a little while to get the pressure right so the indicator does actuate, but not come on fully. But people find them annoying and unnecessary. Oh, and indicating a polite left flash/right flash thank you to following traffic is utterly impossible. More of a problem are soft-touch indicators that really do take learning to get the pressure right. And if you turn them on with too much pressure when making a lane change, chances are they will stay flashing after you complete the manoeuvre. So you try and manually cancel, only to find you have activated the opposite direction indicators by mistake. This procedure of turning on first one side and then the other can continue for quite some time.
4. INFOTAINMENT SCREENS
Too much information, too many menus. People just don’t want to learn how to use infotainment screens, and to some extent you can understand. Why scroll through half a dozen screens and menus just to find the one that lets you change the radio channel, or raise the air conditioning temperature? Remember the good old days when all you had to do was reach out and turn a knob (anticlockwise for down, clockwise for up) to change the temperature? Or hit “scan” to find another radio station? And as for trying to type in an address on a screen… forget it! The infotainment screen I endured in a Toyota HiLux last week took it all to another level; it kept pushing its own buttons, asking me if I wanted to set wherever I was as my home address, and scanning through radio stations without me asking it to. And to infotainment screens, you can add touchpads and slider controls for maximum annoyance. Haven’t any of these designers travelled in a moving car?
5. TRACTION CONTROL SYSTEMS
Now why would you hate something that will probably save your life? Plenty of people consider TCS just another nanny-state interference in their freedom to drive however they like, even if it means sliding off the side of the road at high speed into a ditch. On the other hand, some Traction Control Systems really do kick in way too early and aggressively. But most of them can be turned down, or, if your death wish is strong, off altogether.
6. SEAT BELTS
For most of us, clicking the seatbelt is a natural procedure before starting the car, but for some brain-dead drivers, it’s another imposition. These people are immune to the statistics and the multi-million dollar ad campaigns. They simply persist in driving without wearing a restraint. Even telling them that airbags are designed to work in conjunction with seatbelts and can actually be dangerous or lethal to unrestrained occupants has no effect. I’ve even seen cab drivers with the seat belt done up behind the seat to stop that annoying seatbelt reminder chime from interfering with their need to talk on their mobile phone, tap into their job assignment electronics system and wave obscene gestures at other drivers.
7. CATALYTIC CONVERTERS
When catalytic converters first appeared on production cars, the howl of complaint was that they sucked away all-important horsepower (these people always talk in terms of “horsepower”, never kilowatts or any of that other metric malarkey). They talked about removing the factory exhaust system and replacing it with a freer-flowing system that wasn’t strangled by a cat, never mind about the legal implications. Or the implications for the environment. These days, catalytic converters have done a magnificent job of filtering out exhaust pollutants and improving the atmosphere around our cities, and the loss in kilowatts is minimal.
8. FRONT WHEEL DRIVE
Real men want the power (and as much of it as they can afford) being fed to the rear wheels. Have you ever tried to do a power slide with front-wheel drive? Or do huge, smoky donuts to impress your equally brain-dead mates? Doesn’t happen. To these people, the only reason front-wheel drive cars exist is because the car companies can build them cheaper than rear-wheel drive. They are happy to ignore the space and weight balance benefits, or the power that’s lost by having to send it all the way from the front engine (the only place for an engine after all) to the rear wheels.
9. STEEL WHEELS
On small economy cars, the steel wheels are so embarrassing, they are usually hidden behind plastic covers making a dismally ineffective attempt to look like alloy wheels. These days, large SUVs wear stupidly large diameter alloy wheels with stupidly low profile tyres, completely negating the vehicle’s ability off-road. Steel wheels still have their place (note to manufacturers: this is not in the boot as a spare… if someone buys a vehicle with four alloy road wheels, they deserve to find a fifth alloy road wheel in the boot). If you must have large alloy wheels on your SUV, buy a set of steel wheels with practical tyres for those rare occasions when you will use the vehicle as it was intended.
10. AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION
There’s no question that manual transmissions are the sporting and more engaging choice. But these days, automatic transmissions are incredibly effective. They often change gear faster than a human could do it manually, and deliver better fuel consumption while doing it. Add in gearchange paddles behind the steering wheel, or flick the shift lever across to manual, and you get the best of both worlds. And as for driving in stop/start traffic, it’s no contest: automatic wins hands down.
Do you have some pet hates about modern cars? Or features you’ve had to pay for but didn’t want, and quite possibly have never used? We’d love to hear them. And maybe we can even convince some car companies to offer alternatives.